Three Minutes Away

Photo by Meghan Schiereck on Unsplash

This past Saturday, I was out shooting photos with a friend of mine. We were headed to the next location and when I arrived, I typed a text saying that I was there and just looking for parking. As soon as I pulled into the parking spot my friend called me, he’d been in an accident. 

He was literally around the corner from where we were meeting and well after I got to him, I saw the text that read to me, “I’m 3 minutes away.” Three minutes. In three minutes, the whole trajectory of everything we were about to do changed. Thank God he was okay as well as the person who ran a red light and subsequently flipped their car upside down. God is good. Although she had to be pulled from the car, she seemingly only had minor injuries, and the same for my friend. Let me reiterate here that it wasn’t the text at all because I know some of you may be thinking, was that the reason? LOL. No, many of us text at a stop. She literally blew through a light while my friend’s light was GREEN and he tried to avoid hitting her at all cost. 

The point of this is that it took “3 minutes.” I know so many of us have been focused on how terrible of a year this has been. I mean, it’s been unprecedented. There was no way in February, I wouldn’t have thought that the worst thing to happen this year would have been Kobe and his daughter Gianna passing along with the other passengers in that helicopter on that faithful morning in January. And yet, that literally just got the ball rolling. 

I feel like I am in some kind of time warp. It’s like I”m stuck on the very last night I felt like a normal person which was about March 12th right before everything shut down. We were at a cool bar in Philadelphia with speakeasy vibes and I was hosting an outreach to the hip-hop community locally. We had Torae Carr come down from New York and I had some good wine. Life was normal. Simple. Then all of a sudden it was December and we were staring 2021 in the face with both hope and vast uncertainty. 

I am weary of thinking that 2021 will be my year. Quite honestly 2019 felt personally more horrible than 2020 and I was the one wishing for 2020 to come. So, I learned my lesson. I will plan, I will strategize, but I will be flexible. How can you not when in three short minutes, everything in your life can change and literally be flipped upside down like that car? 

Oddly enough, a lot has gone well for me professionally this year. I got an agent. Sold a book. Leveled up Permission to Write and I’ll have some exciting other news a little later for you too! But the weight of that up against the 7% unemployment rate and desperately missing spending time with family and friends, well, it kind of just doesn’t stack up. Things that I’ve been working towards my whole life, feel uncomfortable to celebrate in this time. Hell, I can’t even go out for a celebratory dinner for anything that’s happened. But honestly, it just put so much in perspective. 

All of the achievements are great, but when it comes down to it, I really only want to hug my parents. To go down to DC and see my friend’s babies. I want to dress up for my husband for a night out. None of the accolades could ever compare.

I know it feels dismissive to say that this year has been a lesson. None of the families of the 300k people who have succumbed to COVID-19 want to hear that. But I’ve lost people this year as well and I still feel that way. I still feel every day that I breathe, I owe it to them to make the most of it. To live in the present and not too far in the future, which only makes me an anxious mess anyway. To laugh hard and loud. To dream ridiculously big. To live in a land of make-believe that has its own mayor. 

The reality here is, we’re here until we aren’t. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to my friend that day. I know loss and I don’t ever want to know it that intimately again. But I’m reminded and have been reminded so much this year, that nothing is promised and our time is certainly not guaranteed. What will you do with it? How will you make the most of your time this year? Not in a way that’s about the hustle. Lord knows we should know better than that by now. But in a way that is about balance. Perspective. Love. Impact. Showing up. 

We have no idea what 2021 will bring. But let’s take what we’ve learned and apply it. Life is for the living and as long as we’re here, we ought to do some good in our own way. 

Truly wishing you a healthy, prosperous, and a balanced new year full of peace.